Running After Kansas
by Oregano
Summary: When Luke Danes retires, the Diner is passed on to Jess, who is forced to come back to face everything he's abrupty abandoned. Now the question, How're those Gilmores?
1. Chapter 1

**Running After Kansas** by Oregano

It is truly a dark day for everyone concerned when the owner of Luke's Diner, the infamous Lucas Danes, decides to retire. It's unthinkable, like kicking a puppy or setting your grandmother on fire, but there it was: Luke's Diner, one of the structures in Stars Hollow that had grown to be one of its historical landmarks and a constant reminder of Luke's age, was not going to be Luke's anymore. The funny thing about it was how abrupt it had been done. But if that wasn't the case, what would be the fun of being Lucas Danes at all, right?

See, it was the morning of his sixty-first birthday, and the man was feeling particularly grouchy that day (who wouldn't be?). Lorelai Gilmore had just given him a neon pink toaster with rhinestones the size of Jamaica stuck on for God knows what stupid reason, and the whole diner was packed more than usual, since, well, it was his birthday and the town had probably collectively agreed to remind him of that fact at the exact same time and place, just to be neighbourly.

And then Kirk Gleason entered his establishment, ready to have his usual tuna melt with no tuna, but with a small extra request. He straightened his collar and looked at the man who was looking wearily at him and spoke, "Luke, how long do you think will it take you to make six hundred tuna melts with no tunas?"

Luke's sour face turned even more acidic, "What the hell would you do with six hundred tuna-less melts, Kirk?"

"It's for my and Lulu's pre-engagement party tomorrow night and I would appreciate it if you would do the honours of catering for us."

It was right then and there when Luke Danes began to have a sneaking suspicion of the absurdity of his whole existence. He was sixty-one years old, crank and arthritic, dammit! And Kirk wanted him to make six hundred tuna melts with no tuna? In less than two days?

"What do you think my answer is, Kirk?" was all he said, and went about his business, much to Kirk's displeasure. 

However, just as he was about to pour Lorelai Gilmore another cup of coffee, staring into the eyes and face of the very person he had fallen in love with for more than three decades now, yet never fully or quite confessing it, was when it all happened. The final straw had been yanked, and with a defiant thud of the coffee pot (and a confused look or twenty), he exclaimed them without ceremony; the very words that he knew were to be carved onto his stupid tombstone, right after he kicked the bucket and right under the words, "Lorelai Gilmore's Eternal Piner." The room went quiet in anticipation, most of the stupider ones actually expecting a loud, "Thank you, you have touched me with this gesture of kindness on my birthday and I will now proceed to serve you all free pie in my gratitude!" but his words came like a blast from an atomic bomb: "Everyone, get the hell out of my property, I'm retiring!"

Town meetings were held, protesters camped outside the diner, Lorelai Gilmore even dared to treat him to a lapdance, but Luke's mind was made up. He was retiring and that was the end of it.

Unfortunately, Luke Danes had always been the impulsive one whenever stress levels got too high, a dangerous trait that had previously resulted in an expansion of a building, a soda shoppe and a Belgian waffle of monstrous, diabetic proportions. But even after all that, this had to take the cake in the scary Luke mishaps, because it actually concerned the extension of himself, his very own diner. He, in all his retiring glory, had forgotten to change the deeds to his diner and the contractual status that only he was aware of, concerning somebody whom he had not spoken to in twenty-one years.

And this is where our story begins.

His name was Jess Mariano, forty years old, and exact replica of his father, to the disappointment to him and everyone who had tried to save him. Drifting from one place to the other, yet never really digging his toes into any form of ground, be it sand or soil, became his existence. Except his own father had long ago found his anchor, his Kansas. He, on the other hand, was still forced to wear the little blue dress and pigtails, galloping 'round and 'round the yellow Goddamn brick road with Jimmy's promise of his own Kansas. He had said Jess would get there, if he walked far enough (and not kick that stupid tin man's tin ass when it comes, but instead, befriend it). And so here he was, back in California for a visit to his dad, ruby slippers and all, still waiting for the house to fall.

So once the letter came, summoning him back to the very place he considered the real Dante's Inferno (no hotdog puns intended), he had laughed out loud. Maybe if he had known what he had been summoned for, Jess would have checked his chortle. Along with his curiosity. Because this was the very fiend that brought him back to Stars Hollow. After twenty-one years of nothing, it seemed rather odd for an old relative (whom he had left, ties still dangling from the sudden severing) to ask him to visit. It certainly wasn't to bring back some of Jimmy's hotdogs for a sample.

The house, it seemed, had just fallen.


	2. Chapter 2

**Running After Kansas **by Oregano

It took two decades and a mysterious letter to get Jess Mariano back into Stars Hollow asphalt, but when he got there, he wasn't at all surprised to see that absolutely nothing, not even time, could change the Godforsaken village of the damned. The same mother-daughter pair who had the insane notion that dressing alike was the hippest fad were still at it, jogging together, matching spandex and all. As he got out of his Mustang and started walking, the very same tree branch that he'd first encountered long ago slapped him in the face.

God, it was like the town had been living in a tear of the time-space continuum for the past twenty-three years. It was creepy.

Crossing the street and entering Luke's Diner became somewhat of an ordeal, as all its forsaken customers, standing outside the establishment, turned to gawk at him. He suddenly felt self-conscious, very much like he was naked. And he'd been feasting on a lot of carbs, lately, so his body's present condition was no winner at the Mr. Hunk competition, to say the least. Glaring at all the folk, he ventured towards the inside, where he would most likely find his uncle. The door was unlocked, which puzzled him as to why the mob was outside and not in. The Diner was empty like a ghost town, and his footsteps echoed around his ears. What the hell was going on? But one step behind the counter initiated a holler from someone behind him. He jumped at the power of Luke's voice, "Step away from the counter, Buddy!"

Jess turned around, expecting to see the middle-aged man with a fetish for flannel and the stupid backwards baseball cap, but felt his head lighten at the image that stood before him.

Lucas Danes was glaring at him, his wrinkled brow spotty with age. The flannel was still there, but the cap wasn't. This treated Jess to a view of an almost bald head, with wisps of white around it. The face of Luke Danes in his mind had been so constant, and the town, even the Goddamn branch that slapped his face, had tricked him into believing that maybe somehow, Stars Hollow, along with its inhabitants, was going to be as timeless as Oz.

Oh, well.

However, Luke's bitterness, it seemed, had, if not increased, stayed perfectly preserved, "What, did you not get the gazette? Get out of my property!"

He frowned at the old man before him and said, "I was never forbidden from entering it."

"Of course, you're forbidden! Jesus, I should put a sign on there that says, 'Get the hell out of my establishment-- and the counter!'" Luke was now livid, for some reason.

"Which, I'm sure, many, if not all, will ignore."

That was it. Luke smooshed his face into his hands in an attempt to stop himself from being thrown into jail for assault. Or murder. "Who the hell are you, anyway?"

Jess smiled with a bitterness that would match his uncle's, "And they say you never forget family."

Luke visibly became alert as the words hit him. God, the hated it when Jess Mariano baited him. It made him want to lunge at him and kick his ass all the way to Tulsa. He did it all the Goddamn time (bait him, not kick his ass all the way to Tulsa) when he had been living here, and Luke hated every second of it. And the fact that he didn't recognise him just made that feeling flare up once again. Stupid wise-ass nephew.

*

"So the Diner is no longer Luke's Diner, but my diner? Jess's Diner?" The easy way "Jess's Diner" just rolled off his tongue made Luke flinch. He wasn't used to it, and if Jess would just cooperate, he wouldn't have to.

"Look, all I need for you to do is sign this stupid thing three times and you can go back to singing Beach Boys songs in the sand for all I care."

Jess grinned at this and leaned back into the couch (which had developed a smell, through the years, which he had pointed out to Luke, which led to him being smacked in the head, which led him to stop commenting about things like that further). "Before I do that, can you just tell me how my name got into this in the first place?"

"No, now sign it."

"Not until you tell me."

"I am not going to explain myself to someone like you, Jess. You're not worth it, as I had come to realise when you told me you weren't graduating all those years back. All bonds that we've had are off, and you, of all people, should know that." Luke glared at the man sitting across from him, and as his words traveled that short distance, he could see Jess's composure crumble bit by bit, "You were the one who held the knife."

And as soon as Luke started to think that he was getting to Jess, the younger man had the gall to try and rebuild his shattered persona by saying this, "I won't sign that until you tell me. And I'm not saying that what you just told me didn't sting a little, but you're not going to piss me of into signing it, either. Now, what were you trying to save by all of this?"

God, it was like talking to a wall! When he was seventeen, a comment like that would have wounded Jess into shutting the hell up and leaving, but somehow, it didn't work this time. It suddenly occurred to Luke how much Jess had to have lived through to be immune to that kind of verbal abuse. With a sigh, he gave up, "You, you dumbass! I was trying to save you. I talked to this guy, when you were still here, showing this glimpse of promise, and stupid me, I fell for it. I told Harry the lawyer, 'Hey, Harry, can you change my will and put Jess's name as the inheritor of my diner, but make it so that he only gets it when he's at least thirty or when I decide to retire or kill myself or die? Thanks, Harry!' I wanted you to have something to fall back on, if and when that stupid Wal-Mart stint crashes around your ears. Are you happy? Now get you stupid name on that thing and leave!"

The apartment seemed to close in on the two of them as the truth finally came out in a blur. Or in a holler. Jess knew how huge this act of Luke's meant to him, but decided to not prod it further. For the time being. "So the Diner's been mine since I was thirty?"

"Don't feel so special yet, Jess. I called you here for a reason. Now I want that paper on fire because you've written your name on it so quickly and excitedly that the friction was too much for it to handle."

But Jess, by some surge of power, decided otherwise. Leaning forward to face Luke, who had long ago taken captive of the La-Z-Boy, he uttered the words that made his uncle's nerves run cold and blood boil, "I'm staying."

"No, you're not--and don't say, 'Yes, I am,' because if this turns out to be one of those useless, stupid back-and-forth arguments, I am telling you now, I am too old to keep up. So please, just sign the papers and be along your stupid, merry way!"

There he was, on the verge of an aneurysm, and Jess Mariano was seriously shaking his head in amused defiance, his arms crossed in front of him. His eyes were practically dancing. "I knew I shouldn't have told you why!"

Jess smirked at the hopelessness in Luke's voice, "So how are those Gilmores? Are they still here or did they finally come to their senses and move? Because from the look of things, you still haven't confessed your burning desire for the older Lorelai," he said casually, with a glance about the apartment. It was still the same swingin' bachelor pad that he had left long ago.

"Oh, don't you try to wiggle your ass into this thing again, LoverBoy. Rory's got too much on her mind right now, and you coming back for another one of your stupid epiphanies won't help any."

The man conceded with a slight bob of his head, "Okay," he said softly.

Luke, realising (just in time) that Jess had conveniently turned the topic from the diner, suddenly added, "And you are not staying here!"

"Why are you so eager to get the Diner back, anyway? Who are you going to give it to? Or are you just going to take your word back and keep the Diner running until the day you die?"

Actually, Lucas Danes had not thought about things to that level as of yet. All he was interested in was getting his property back and ease the worry of Jess turning it into a brothel off his shoulders. Who was he going to give it to? He groaned, as once again, Jess Mariano had managed to wiggle his ass into his life. 

His ass, however, was going nowhere near Rory Gilmore's (life, not ass). He would make sure of that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Running After Kansas **by Oregano

Luke Danes had always been a protective man; from his diner, his clothes, his baseball cap (which had finally broken down from overuse--although, he had become too attached to the thing to replace it now), but especially of the people he cared about. Jess was once part of this list, but as his expectations for him crashed, so did his trust. So off the list he went, and unceremoniously into his Crap Book, along with Taylor Doose and maybe half of his stupid relatives.

However, there seemed to be a pair of ladies that was doomed to be forever etched onto the said list--embossed, engraved, laminated and finalised. The Gilmore girls, and all those somehow connected to them, to some extent, were forever going to be under Luke's watchdog supervision (much to the elder Gilmore's annoyance).

So it would only be natural for Luke to keep Jess away from her. The boy had caused so much mayhem in the past, and he was just eighteen back then. Any more damage Jess Mariano, at the ripe age of forty, might instill upon Stars Hollow could very well have the little town taken off American maps altogether. 

Chalk it up towards a fatherly gesture, but given the present circumstances, the old man felt that now was a very particular time to give Rory Gilmore some breathing room.

*

Nicholai Stratt, a young boy of seventeen, was one of the next-generation-after-the-likes-of-Jess-and-Rory kids. Having been living in Hartford and staying in Stars Hollow on breaks for the past seventeen years, he was pretty much dubbed as an honorary town member, so it wasn't a difficult transition when his family decided to move to the town permanently. 

He knew about old man Taylor Doose, the almost-100 year old senile, whose annoying habits could challenge those of Tony Shaloub's Monk. He knew about Miss Patty, the woman who would probably outlive all mankind yet still have her sex drive be as raging as ever. He lived near Babette and Morey Dell, two ridiculously scary neighbours whose gnomes seemed to multiply each summer he came to visit.

So when Luke Danes started yelling about his diner closing, he had been heartbroken. He had been one of the people in the crowd that stood outside the establishment each day, waiting patiently for Mr. Danes to come down from his apartment and open the Diner--and not just so he could step out with a bat in hand, ready to hit those who couldn't get the fact that he was closed through their thick heads. Luke Danes was somewhat of a role model to Nicholai, and he looked to the man much like a grandfather.

And then, one day, this stranger in a red Mustang came up out of nowhere and charged into the diner without so much as a word to the crowd he had passed through. He only gave them a slightly weird look and then ventured inside.

Suddenly, Luke's Diner was revived, the giant, "Go Away, You Freaks!" sign in Luke's handwriting taken down. The stranger in the red Mustang was like a Messiah to the people, saving them all from going to Al's Pancake World to die a horrible death (since Al had become legally blind and couldn't tell paprika from a bag of nails). And he owed it all to this magical stranger.

Imagine Nicholai's sheer joy when a modest sign that read, "Help Wanted" was posted up inside the diner's window a few days later. He raced to the counter, his chest heaving, and eyes bright with excitement at the prospect of both meeting the Messiah and actually helping him spread the Word (which was, "Luke's is open again, baby!").

However, Messiah was a little bit preoccupied talking to Luke, who was sitting at one of the tables near the back, right beside the entrance to the counter. He was holding a newspaper and glaring at Messiah.

"Do you honestly think you can last the whole day on that chair, just watching me work?"

"It's for the protection of my property, Buddy."

"Hey, correction, _my _ property now, Luke. Go and take a walk or something."

"I am staying here as a paying customer, and I will leave when I want to."

"Then will you at least stop staring at me? I feel weird."

"Like you're Elijah Wood with prosthetic legs and I'm that giant eyeball on the mountain acting like a lighthouse tower? You bet your ass I'm that giant, fiery eyeball acting like a lighthouse tower! Do something to piss me off, and I'll seriously jump you."

"Didn't the humans set up a diversion and get the eyeball to look away?" It was a small retort from the side, coming from little Nicholai Stratt at the mention of the old movie. He had previously seen it on one of the random movie channels a few months ago, with his mom.

The old man gave him a rather alarmed look, "Nicholai! What the hell are you doing here?"

Nicholai tossed him something between a smirk and a weird look, "Uh, I saw the sign outside, and I thought I'd apply. I need the money and I've got nothing to do during the summer anyhow."

Luke jumped in his seat and crumpled the newspaper on his lap as he craned his neck to look at the small piece of paper by the entrance. He couldn't understand what made him so agitated, but he quickly whipped his head towards Messiah, "Jess, why is that sign up there?"

"I needed help, Your Highness."

Luke stood from his seat and yanked Jess into the storage room, after offering the lame excuse of "having to check something in the back" to Nicholai. As soon as the two of them were out of earshot, Luke started to talk. "Look, Jess, I know that we aren't the best of pals, and I don't think we ever will be, given my sheer hatred for you and your audacious way of speaking to me, but I want you to grant me this one small favour."

"I'm not sure. I'm quite hurt at where this is all going."

"Don't hire Nicholai Stratt."

Jess screwed his mouth and ventured a peek at the boy outside, patiently waiting for the two men to come out, "Why not? He seems like a good kid."

"Just..." Luke made this helpless gesture with his hands, as he usually did when he ran out of things to say. However, the urgency in the old man's voice hit something within Jess. It was beyond him why Luke was so jumpy, but he decided to give this one thing to him. The idea of blackmail ran across his mind for a second, but he shook it off with a chuckle. They were both too old for that game.

*

So there it was, all in the span of four days, Luke's Diner had been closed forever, reopened under new management, and a boy's hope to work for a great man was crushed. God, Jess could certainly cook things up fast.

But that wasn't even close to the end. The day went on, and people came and went (with Luke still harassing Jess from the table where his ass-print would probably hold until the next millennium bash). The knocker of the whole thing came during a lull. Luke had borrowed a book from Jess, as his newspaper was now dilapidated from over-reading and over-folding and Jess was simply refilling the sugar. The small jingling of the bell above the door made both men look up, up towards the face that made Luke turn white, and Jess furrow his brow.

"Luke, why didn't you give Nicholai the job? The poor kid's so bummed."

In a way, Nicholai Stratt turned out to be the Tin Man that Jess wasn't supposed to have turned away, because in the doorway stood a familiar figure that somehow reminded Jess of everything he had previously tried to forget.

"Lorelai?"

**Author's Note:**

Thanks to Becka, jumbocoffeemorning and Arianna for beta-ing!


	4. Chapter 4

**Running After Kansas** by Oregano

After years of hostility and exchanged angry words, it would be safe to say that Lorelai Gilmore and Jess Mariano had a peculiar relationship and history. His showing up suddenly to Stars Hollow at the worst opportune time was his signature move, and that always led to ugliness between them. But after years and years of the latter's absence, and her old age (although she'd die before admitting that aloud), she had already forgotten about most of her daughter's old boyfriends. Jess Mariano was no different. He would probably be the most influential to Rory, but he certainly wasn't the one who stuck out for her.

And as his talents never seemed to dull, he did it again. He showed up at the worst opportune time.

So she stood there, contemplating her next move. Lorelai studied the man who stood before her, and while she did hate that stupid trait of his that always seemed to make a mess of things, she could not deny his maturity. Years ago, she had witnessed it for a bit, just as he was getting it all together, but did not say a thing, because Rory's happiness came before anything. Lorelai suddenly cringed at the words she had thrown at him then. So childish. Jess Mariano had always been a worthy opponent.

Suddenly, the image of Jess Mariano wasn't so blurry in her mind anymore. She smiled, "Jess. Are you trying to ease yourself away from this place little by little? Like Little Albert but backwards?"

His brows dug into his forehead. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Lorelai Gilmore had always been one of the town crazies. If anyone were to make a brochure for Stars Hollow, Lorelai Gilmore would most likely be in there, be it image or quote. Lorelai always had something ridiculous to say. Even Luke was aware of that fact. And now, as she stood there, earlier comment not understood by anyone, even herself, "Like Little Albert but backwards?" was surely going to be one of the said quotes.

"Are you the one who fired Nicholai?"

"How could I fire him? I haven't even hired him," he replied in that nonchalant-but-teasing manner. He was turning too much into Luke Danes, and frankly, one embittered (but wonderful) old man was enough to last Stars Hollow for a few more decades. "Besides," he added with a thumb at Luke, "old man Danes told me not to hire the kid."

Luke suddenly went paler than paper, sinking into the chair behind him. He glared at Jess for a moment for snitching on him, but quickly recovered when Lorelai spoke, "Why would you turn away Nicholai? He's such a sweet kid, and he loves you so much, Luke."

He stood up, and made a beeline towards Lorelai, grabbed her arm and steered her into the storage room. It seemed to be the best place for secret conversations, lately. He'd probably need to shove the pickles over to put in a couch and a nice coffee table, with the rate things were going. How many times had he been in there in one day, anyway?

Once inside, Luke's raspy and hurried voice jumped at Lorelai, "Do you want Nicholai working with Jess Mariano? What do you think his mother would say?"

However, Lorelai completely missed the point, once again, and demonstrated this by asking, "Jess Mariano is working in the diner again?"

"He owns it!"

Lorelai's eyes couldn't be wider, "Shut _up_!" That made Luke shudder and start at the same time. Only Lorelai, he sighed. "How did that happen? I thought you were retiring!"

"I was! I am!"

"Then why are you still here? Go to Florida and play the ponies, Luke!" she exclaimed. A picture of Luke in a palm tree-decorated shirt and beach shorts, wearing a bucket hat suddenly popped into Lorelai's head. She smiled at that. "I think Jess has changed, Luke," she admitted softly. "There this air of maturity in him, and... he hasn't set anything on fire yet, has he?" True, Lorelai was still a bit bitter towards Jess and his actions to Rory, but it had been twenty years! Vietnam was already a first-world superpower. There was a discovery for an alternative to gasoline. Luke finally got rid of the cap. And if time could change Luke's wardrobe, even in the slightest manner, she was all but rooting for some sort of grown-up change in Jess Mariano.

But Luke was certainly stuck in a time where Jess was still that hoodlum, drawing dirty pictures on his bathroom mirror and smoking like a chimney in the apartment. "He hasn't set anything on fire because I've been sitting out there for eight Goddamn hours, watching him like a hawk!"

Lorelai chuckled at Luke's actions, "Oh, my God, Luke! You should be arrested for stalking! Jess could get a restraining order against you for that!"

"Really?"

"Of course not! Do you think I know the laws of my country, besides having the freedom to say, 'Jackass' in public?" Lorelai sighed at Luke and touched his arm lightly, "You have to get over this. It's been years since you saw Jess. I thought you were always willing to give people a chance."

Only Lorelai Gilmore could hold such a power over Lucas Danes. With a small flit of her fingers, he would instantly be dragged to some stupid PTA meeting to talk about ketchup, or a flower-arranging class (that was a total nightmare in on itself). Now, as she stood before him, her eyes wondering, Lorelai once again had Luke wrapped around her finger. "I had never expected that to come out from you," he said gruffly, crossing his arms in front of him.

"Which only further proves my point that people change."

And so, after much consideration, a long conversation and a lot of beer with Luke, Jess called Nicholai Stratt, informing the boy that he could work at the diner starting the next day. Who would have thought that Lorelai Gilmore would be taking Jess Mariano's side of things?

"Order's up, Nicholai."

Nicholai Stratt looked up from his spot on the counter and smiled. The feel of the apron around his waist was something wonderful for him. It was that tight, almost military feeling of being cool. He held the power to serve coffee and go behind the counter. He'd never been behind the counter before, and now he was, wiping it with a rag. He felt like a diner god.

"Okay, Mr. Mariano!"

Jess smirked at the boy's eagerness to work. He had never been an eager kid, especially when he used to work here for Luke. However, what was there to be excited about when one was working for Luke? Even Caesar couldn't answer that. Looking at the boy work, Jess actually liked this Nicholai kid. He was hardworking, respectful, and hell, far, far away from the road to destruction that he himself probably mapped when he was Nicholai's age. Jess Mariano was like the Magellan of The Road. He was royal cartographer, for God's sake.

As Nicholai made his way back to the counter after serving a couple their pancakes, Jess decided that it would be a good chance to get to know the kid. It was better than watching the people eat, and a hell of a lot less creepy. He leaned his back on the counter and crossed his arms in front of him, "So, Nicholai, how long have you been here in Stars Hollow?"

The boy, surprised at his boss's sudden personality, raised his eyebrows at the question. "I just moved here a few months ago. I'm from Hartford."

"You go to Stars Hollow High?"

Nicholai shook his head, "No, Chilton." And when he said that, this twang of memory shook within Jess. Chilton. He visibly twitched at the mention of the luxurious school, and the person who was put along with that same schemata.

"Good. Stars Hollow High was like hell on earth to me," he said, trying to cover up his twitch. He tried to look lazy and bored with the world, gripping the edge of the cabinet behind him. He glanced at the giant window looking though Taylor's ice cream shop, wondering why Luke never covered it up.

Nicholai was again surprised at his information, "You used to live here?"

Jess lifted a shoulder, "A couple of years." It looked so invasive, having that huge chunk of glass on the wall. He could see the employees, attending to every detail in the shop, arranging the candy with precision. It was like watching Taylor clones at work. "So what made you move here, of all places?"

The boy was silent for a while. He played with the hem of his apron, the sudden diner god feeling gone. Nicholai looked down at his sneakers and leaned on the cabinet beside his boss. He was never comfortable with the reason for moving here, but he didn't want to be one of those angst-ridden kids with nothing but themselves to think about. Maybe he got it from his mom, but Nicholai Stratt preferred ignoring the situation, rather than facing it. And right now, Jess Mariano just forced him into it.

"My dad was shot during a drug bust."

Jess's eyes widened and he whipped his head towards the boy, completely caught off guard. The big glass window was immediately forgotten. He had totally bought Nicholai's energetic actions, not realising the pain that he was feeling at that very moment, as he stood beside his boss, the memory of his father looming over him. Hell, and here Jess was, thinking that he was the most dysfunctional character in Stars Hollow.


	5. Chapter 5

**Running After ****Kansas **by Oregano

All of them knew that the moment would come in one way or another, but none of them had the slightest idea of how it would turn out. Dorothy had to face the Wizard sometime. The plot quickly unfolded and thickened like cream. Luke had just gotten back from his forced walk with Lorelai, and they were already bickering when the door closed behind them. Jess had been out back, helping Caesar make some of the orders, leaving poor, clueless little Nicholai Stratt, to man the tables all on his own.

Just as the elder couple settled into their seats at the counter (which was a totally new feeling for Luke, who had never even touched the wooden seats with his ass), the rusty little bell rang throughout the diner. It was like time had gone into slow-motion; the tinkling lasting for an endless forever, as she entered the establishment. Nicholai turned his head to greet the customer, but instead let out a surprised, "Mom!"

Jess was just looking up to see who it was that entered, too, and once he saw the person, and heard Nicholai's greeting, he dropped his pencil, as well as his jaw. Slightly.

Luke fidgeted, ready for anything, from tears to a football tackle.

Lorelai, however, sat beside the old man with a somewhat curious, if not amused expression. "Hey, honey!"

Jess had a creeping suspicion that Nicholai Stratt would be somehow related to the Gilmores. From Luke's two close calls for cardiac arrest at the news of the boy wanting to work at the diner, to the way he basically threw Lorelai into the storage room, it was actually pretty obvious. However, he wasn't quite as prepared to see her right then and there as he had initially thought.

Rory Gilmore entered the diner with a slight nod and a shy smile at Jess. At forty, Rory Gilmore was slow to show her age, just like her mother, who still could pull off stilettos and that old B-52's shirt. She had already heard about the man who saved Stars Hollow from Al's nail rampage from her son and from her mother, but she wasn't quite as ready to face him as she had thought. What do you say to the boy who you left on a bus more than twenty years ago, not knowing that it was going to be the last time you would see him? She knew that she should have been angry as hell to see him, but after a few years of furrowed brows and growing up, the hurt had already eroded, giving way to only discomfort and unease.

Rory Gilmore was over it. Because putting Jess Mariano next to what she had just previously experienced would be like putting an ant next to an elephant.

Julian Stratt had been a very nice young man with funny ears. She had met him in her final months at Yale, and he was working towards becoming a lawyer, leading him to become the butt of many of Lorelai's jokes. He got through it, though, and then realized that being out where the action was, was what he had truly wanted to do. Donning the kickass black vest that read, "NARC" in big, white block letters was his true calling, it seemed.

It had worried Rory that he was constantly risking his life for others, but also saw the thrill of it, and just why Julian loved his job so damn much. So she chose to be the supportive wife, silent as he went out the door with his little bagged lunch every single day.

Rory Gilmore was still not over that. Because losing her other half hurt more than losing a boy she thought she knew long ago.

But now she stood in front of an audience, all waiting for her to move. So she simply went over to her son and hugged him tight. "Hey, kiddo. How are you holding up?" she asked.

"Mom," the boy moaned, easing her embrace away from him like all boys do. "Not in front of Mr. Mariano…" Nicholai stole a small sideways glance at his employer and swore to himself that he could die with horror right then and there.

Jess looked away at that, a twinkle of amusement washing over him. He let out a small guffaw. That was, until Rory straightened up to face him. Neither of them had any idea what to do, much less say, so they just stood facing each other in silence.

Nicholai, not knowing the two's history, decided to take things into his own hands and did so with a start by clearing his throat. "Mom, this is Mr. Mariano, the diner's new owner." He glanced at Luke Danes who squinted an eye at what that really sounded like and rushed to fix his blooper. "I mean, um, manager?" he weakly offered.

Rory decided to play along and offered her hand to Jess. "Hi," she said softly.

Jess dipped his head towards her slightly and took her hand in his. "Jess Mariano."

Unfortunately, Luke didn't quite catch on. "Oh, cut the crap, you know who she is Jess! You _dated_ for, what, a year? And then you jumped on a bus and broke her heart, for Christ's sake!" he exploded, with a hand motioning to Rory.

Jess ignored his cantankerous uncle and gave Rory a pensive look. "I'm sorry about that, by the way."

"Hang on the box," Nicholai's disbelieving voice cut through them both, "you guys know each other? You guys dated?"

"Remember when I told you I used to live here? That was during your mother's time."

"Which was not that long ago," Lorelai clarified, with a glare at Jess.

"So you're like the next-generation version of Lucas Danes," Rory finalized with a final sweep at him. From the counter, she heard Luke snort. "I expected a bit more flannel."

But Jess wasn't paying attention to her attempt at levity. His eyes falling to his hands, which were wringing a rag, he said, "I'm sorry about what happened to your…"

Rory quickly looked away at that. "You… you know about that?" she stammered.

Jess nodded slowly. "Nicholai told me just a little while ago." He took a deep breath and trudged on. "I know I'd be the last person you'd believe when I say this, but if you need… anything, I'm sure I can steal something from Luke or Taylor for you," he finished, adding a joke in the end, just to remind her of the old times.

"Well," she started, looking at him, "I actually need a really big cup of coffee right now."

He didn't smile, for the effort of tricking him into a façade did not escape him. With a glance at Nicholai, he said, "She's all yours, kid," and turned back towards the kitchen.

Nicholai jumped in his place and started to bring coffee to his mother, who had turned to sit next to Luke by the counter without a word.

* * *

It had been a stressful day for everyone involved, from the Danes-Mariano clan to the Gilmore-Stratts. When it was time to close, Luke realized that he didn't have to do that crap anymore, since, hey; it was Jess's job now. No more overturning chairs and refilling ketchup bottles for him. So he trudged up the stairs like the tired, old man that he was, and left his nephew alone downstairs to do the dirty work.

The thought of Jess Mariano blowing up some sort of gas tank crossed him mind for a second, but then remembered Lorelai's request. Right. Second chances.

And this left us with our hero, our Dorothy, alone in the big empty diner, waiting for the ketchup to fall.

Jess's thoughts were like a glass bowl of jawbreakers that had somehow fallen to the floor: scattered and messy, shards of glass and sugar everywhere. Between being the diner's new owner (which had at least sunken in a little) and reuniting with the Gilmore girls like Lassie and that stupid kid with the bandana, he was emotionally and mentally kaput. Then add the Nicholai kid and his dad's recent death—Rory Gilmore's husband's recent death, well…

Suddenly, he heard pounding at the door, the wide glass shaking with a fury at the fist that pounded it like a boxer's. Jess ripped his face away from the bottles, thinking that Stars Hollow finally found the serial killer that it very much needed to take it out of the "Most Boring Place On Earth" category. Alas, he was so wrong, as it turned out to be Rory Gilmore, running away from a blind date.

"Oh, God, please let me in!" she cried.

Luke's Diner being a Gilmore sanctuary for bad dates still seemed to be a popular concept. He walked over to the door and quickly yanked it open and her inside. Once in the diner, she basically threw him against the door and slapped his mouth closed with her hand.

"Rory?" a voice called from outside. Jess saw her close her eyes tight at her name. When the voice finally started to grow weaker, Rory let go of Jess.

Again, as they had earlier, Rory and Jess stood facing each other in awkward silence. But this time, Rory broke it with a nervous laugh. "Sorry, I… Sookie's been trying to set me up with these guys, and now Miss Patty's… they just don't…" she trailed off, not knowing what else to say.

Jess simply upturned the side of his lip, nodding slightly in comprehension. "She's been trying to marry Lorelai off for years, and now she's given up on her and focused on you."

"They just don't understand that I'm stil…" She bit her lip and looked at him with a smile, "Luke is a dense man."

Jess laughed at that, and said in reply, "That, he is. Cranky and annoying, too." He stood holding her in his arms for a moment, and then later grasped what he was doing. Breaking the small bubble of "the good old times," he peeked outside. "I think the coast is clear."

Rory looked around her shoulder, too, and sighed. Jess always knew how to ruin things. She nodded. "Okay. Well, thanks for saving me, Jess." She suddenly grinned and looked him in the eye. "Messiah."

"Excuse me?"

She let out a small, laugh, one that could not be forced back in. "That's what Nicholai first called you, before he found out your name."

Jess blinked at that and slowly smiled. Rory always knew how to bring him back to a smile. "Goodnight, Rory."

Rory nodded and opened the door. "Goodnight, Dodger."

**Author's Note:**

Thanks, Lipton Lee.

Very ugly dividers. I prefer asterisks. :/


	6. Chapter 6

**Running After Kansas **by Oregano

Living with Disappointment is always an ordeal. However, being said Disappointment itself had to be more difficult. He didn't exactly know why, either, but this was some grudge Luke Danes was carrying. He actually felt shorter carrying all this bitterness towards Jess for all these years.

Now the boy was coming up the stairs, his heavy footsteps probably breaking the floorboards little by little. He straightened up on the couch once he heard the thin, almost plastic-like sound of the door open and close at Jess's arrival. Still staring at the blank television screen, he opened his mouth. "You're an ass."

His nephew looked up at that warm greeting and rolled his eyes. "Oh, that Luke Danes—what a sweet old man!"

"I asked you not to stay, you're here. I asked you not to hire Nicholai, he's here. I asked you to stay away from Rory, and yet, I'm pretty sure I'll be seeing a lot of her in the coming days. Why don't you ever listen, Jess? Why?"

It wasn't delivered with his usual gusto and rage that made Luke snort once he took a deep breath. Quite the contrary. There was a feeling of hopelessness in his voice, a tired voice that was on the edge of giving up. Suddenly, he turned his face and looked at Jess. Forty years old, but still very much like a boy. "What do I have to do to get you to listen to me?"

The younger man stood by the door, frozen to the spot at his uncle's question. He countered it with a question of his own. "What do I have to do to get you to trust me?"

Luke started to answer, opening his mouth to speak, but nothing would come out. His lips parted and took form of a gaping hole, silent and unsure. He closed them again.

With that, Jess tossed him a sardonic chuckle and took his leave towards his side of the apartment.

* * *

Things had fallen into place quickly after the incident with Rory and Jess and the blind date from the Underworld. Tables were waited, people came in for muffins, and Luke's furrowed eyebrows eased more and more after each passing day. The initial fear that gripped him was falling away, and quite honestly, Luke Danes did not know how to deal with that.

He also did not know how to deal with the huge amount of free time that had suddenly presented itself before him. He was still a virile man. He could still walk. He could still run. He didn't eat meat. He always ate the right food to make sure that he could live up to a hundred years old.

And now, well, he was starting to regret it. Day after day, he would just sit in the diner, reading the paper, eating his complimentary-for-life waffle. Once the paper was read and the waffle was eaten, he would watch Nicholai and Jess work.

He felt like Kirk.

One day, as Jess was wiping the counter down, he noticed his uncle staring almost boredly at his plate of maple syrup. Was that...? Was Luke Danes trying to spell his name with a fork and leftover syrup?

"What's wrong with you, old man?"

"Don't call me that, you jerk."

The younger man smirked at his uncle's reply and ceased wiping for a moment. He leaned his hip onto the counter and crossed his arms in front of him. "Are you bored, Your Highness?"

There was a small pause as Luke took a giant huff. "Of course I'm bored! I hate retirement."

"Get a hobby."

"This _is_ my hobby."

"Writing, 'Lake Dunes' on your plate?" Jess asked with a curious peer over his uncle's shoulder.

"The syrup dripped on 'Luke' and I ran out by 'Danes.'"

Jess nodded at Luke's explanation. "Okay."

Luke's head whipped towards his nephew's face. "I'm not senile!" The comment was yelled wrapped in defensiveness and maybe even panic.

He put his hands in front of him in his own defense. "I didn't say you were!" Laughter was starting to bubble inside Jess's chest, but he knew better than to let it out in front of Mr. Lake Dunes. "Then get out of retirement. It's not like it's hard. Make a pancake."

"But that'd mean I'd be working for you." He shuddered at the thought.

Jess smiled at that and shrugged. "Just an added perk."

He mulled it over in his head a bit. He could always boss him around as his uncle if Jess was being an ass. "Let's go, Luke. The batter's waiting for you."

It took all of Luke's resistance and stamina to say it, and when he did, his teeth were so gritted that they almost screeched as he spoke. "Gimme that spatula. Get out of my way, Caesar."

* * *

Young Love was always an adorable concept. It had happened to Jess and Rory, no doubt, but that quickly crumbled into a world of angst and regret. Everyone could keep blaming Jess for everything, and he wouldn't stop them because a part of him knew that they were right.

Rory Gilmore deserved better. He didn't.

And that was what exactly played out. Rory married a nice young man and became happy, and Jess floated in and out of relationships with the mystique of a ghost. Some people (mostly women) found it alluring, but Jess hated the crap out of it.

However, it seemed that Young Love was being given another chance. It happened exactly after Luke entered the kitchen and shoved Caesar aside. The door jingled, and little Nicholai Stratt looked up. Everyone else saw a girl, but he saw something a bit more extraordinary than that.

She was tall, had wavy dark hair and the most amazing pair of almond-shaped eyes. His hand hovered over the order pad, clutching a pencil tightly. Of course, as a guy, he didn't stare open-mouthed at her. He tried to keep it cool. He was cool, for God's sake! Nicholai turned his attention back to the elder couple, quickly took their orders down and almost ran to the counter where the girl was presently sitting.

Once behind the counter, he ambled towards her, like, "Hey, I'm just doing my job, man." Well, he _was_ doing his job, and enjoyed the hell out of it, but the enjoying-the-hell-out-of-it part was the one he was trying to conceal.

And then was frustratingly blocked by Mr. Mariano as he flatly asked for her order.

He frowned at this. But then she started to talk.

"A blueberry bagel and cream cheese, please."

He felt like swaying at the lyrical intonations of her vowels. Oh, God, to be that bagel.

"Nicholai, I can't read this." Caesar's thick Caesar-accent broke through the magic like the blood in Carrietta White's prom dress. If only he could lift things with his mind, then Caesar would have a mug-shaped bruise on his face.

Luckily, the door announced yet another customer, and this created a distraction for Jess's part, leaving Nicholai on the verge of a happy dance.

He approached her from behind the counter. He gave her a slight lift of his eyebrows and spoke in the most bored tone he could muster. "Hey."

The girl smiled at him a bit and pointed towards Caesar. "I've already ordered. And I think he's still waiting for that clarification on the one you gave him."

Nicholai squinted an eye and pursed his lips before turning around to face Caesar. "Ham and cheese sandwich."

"Looks like 'Jam clothes Gringo' to me," Caesar mumbled as he went back to cooking.

Just as the boy was about to say something to the girl, a man's voice cut through the magic. It was the man who came in earlier.

This was Pete Townsend. He wore a tie, carried a briefcase, and bore a striking resemblance to Mr. Sheffield from _The Nanny._ But he was not English. He had a small Southern twang to his speech, which was always a hit with women. And he had been on Luke Danes' ass for the past eight months about the diner. Lawson Land wanted to turn it into one of those Starbucks empires, with more franchises than Robin Williams had hair.

Luke Danes hated corporate buttheads, Starbucks and Robin Williams. Luke Danes wasn't one to be charmed by a tie-wearing cowboy. His answers ranged from a colourful diatribe on the sick commercialism strategies of big-time companies such as Lawson Land, to a simple, "Get out of my diner, jackass."

However, this was different. This was Jess Mariano, and he didn't really mind Robin Williams all that much. "We're offering a hefty amount of money to turn this into a franchise, Mr. Mariano. We've been after this place for a long, long time. And your uncle and the company couldn't compromise into an agreement. And, well, we thought that since you own this place now and you can do anything you want..."

Suddenly, Kirk Gleason interrupted the man's little speech. "Look, Kroener, the funeral home's a few blocks down peach. He is not selling this diner." It was said in soft volume, but spoken with a matter-of-fact briskness.

But then his face quickly changed into worry as he shifted his gaze towards Jess's silence. "You're... not... right?"

And just like that, Jess Mariano's first true test of loyalty had presented itself. Where the hell was Glinda when you needed her, dammit?


	7. Chapter 7

**Running After Kansas **by Oregano

Most people would say that Fate was a bitch, and indeed, it was, given the case of one Jess Mariano, and particularly relating to one Rory Gilmore.

Just a week before, Jess had taken it upon himself to take another old of his frequent walks around town. There was enough help in the diner as it was, so the guilt had not clung to him as strongly as one would think. It was one of those brisk November days, where you could almost see your breath in front of your face, and breathing in became a chore, for all the mucus matters had recently begun to serve as barriers in your nose.

His feet led him to familiar spots all around Stars Hollow. The town square, the town library, the local school, and before he knew it himself, he was walking along that old wooden bridge that Taylor Dosey had worked so hard to preserve. Jess knew that the elf of a romantic inside of him should stop and take the scenery in for a while, but childhood memories had that tendency to morph into ludicrous moments. They just made you roll your eyes.

He half-expected Rory to be sitting around there somewhere, looking into the water with tears in her eyes.

Of course, she wasn't.

Rory Gilmore had recently found herself a man, and she wasn't at the bridge at present. She was over at a very familiar character, one whom we've all just been recently introduced to. And she did the mistake of bringing him into the diner that afternoon.

"Hey, Rory," her mother greeted casually, with a flippant wave of her hand. She was busy reading (actually making fun of) the new dishes that Jess had the gall to add into the menu. Actually, what was more amusing was the fact that Luke almost ruptured a nerve when he saw the additions.

"Hi, Mom!" she replied, just a little too cheerily. This made Lorelai turn away from the said menu and towards her daughter. This then resulted in her eyes bugging out at what she saw.

"I want you to meet Pete. He's new in town, and he's Houston-ian. From Houston. He's Texan. Houston, Texan." Rory shifter her eyes, desperate to stop trying to give people from Houston a location-based name. Why did she always do that?

This then made every single person in the diner turn away from _their_ individual activities and over to the couple standing by the door.

All Pete Townsend could offer was a charismatic, "Howdy!"

At that greeting, Lorelai dared to look behind her, where she was sure Jess stood frozen. Well, he was frozen alright, but there didn't seem to be any hint of jealousy or anger in his expression. Just that stoic, squinty look reminiscent of Clint Eastwood, without the very close likeness to a living corpse. God, Eastwood was wrinkly.

-------------------------------------

"She's just trying to make me jealous, isn't it?" Jess Mariano spat at nobody in particular as he wiped the tables in a rapid circular motion.

"I hate people with Southern accents," grumbled Nicholai Stratt as he stacked a box of napkins back in the confines of the storage room.

"God, I hate Robin Williams," one Luke Danes announced as he descended down the stairs from his apartment above. "He's just so Goddamn… _hairy_!"

At the voice of his uncle, Jess ceased his endless cleaning. He threw the rag down onto the tabletop and put his arms on his hips. "Luke, how long has this bastard been after the diner?"

"Remember _Hercules_ with Steve Reeves? Around that time. Or it pretty damn well seems like that long. That streak of white hair that makes him look like a skunk? It's very becoming of him and his likeness to one. You know what? Screw Robin Williams, Townsend can go to hell."

Suddenly a soft thump came from behind the counter. It was Nicholai. "I second that motion. You know he came over for dinner yesterday? He knocked my chin and clicked his tongue! Man, I hate that guy. He thinks he's so debonair and smooth, sweet-talking my mother like that."

Jess's brows furrowed at this information. "He sweet-talks your mother?"

"Yeah! It's disgusting!"

"That's the problem with your mother, Nicholai," Jess started, "she's just so Goddamn…" He rolled his wrist around in an attempt to gather the best adjective for Rory Gilmore.

It quickly occurred to Nicholai, Luke and Jess at the very same moment, an in unison, they cried, "_Trusting_!"

And just like that, all three men found something against Texans, skunks and Pete Townsend.

-------------------------------------

It was rare for a diner man to get days off, but Jess decided that he needed it. Christ, he'd never been so stressed out in such a short period of time. Now, apparently, this Pete Townsend and Rory were getting serious. Nicholai was freaking out, and Luke was inches from explosion. It seemed Jess was the only one left from the clutches of this stupid falcon.

His aimless walk quickly took aim, and he found himself walking the familiar path towards a house that was once equipped with uncontrollable sprinkling devices.

The wife of the man who owned the house finally found him around two years ago, and the house had remained empty, until now. Now, the residents of this fine house were Rory and Nicholai Stratt. Jess's face quickly soured at the thought of Rory's last name as Stratt.

That was the exact time Rory came out, and the face she first encountered was hardly inviting. However, she grinned at its owner. "Hey, Jess. Come in."

Walking up the path onto the porch, Jess surveyed the lawn with an amused grin. "The irony of all of this is just sickening."

Rory laughed and led him in. "Hey, we finally got those spigots fixed, though. So I'm no longer looking for your services."

"I'd still like to stick around, if you don't mind."

She stopped laughing at the serious tone of his delivery. They both looked at each other for a moment, lost at what seemed to be gentle waves of the past, right before that awful end. Jess stepped closer and gripped her arms. "Are you really in love with Townsend?"

Honestly, the lack of space between them made it difficult for Rory to remember who exactly "Townsend" was. She opened her mouth to speak, and then closed it again.

She could feel Jess's breath on her lips. His hands crept up to cradle her face.

Before anything else could happen, an awful attempt at a Cuban accent verbally attacked them. "Lucy, I'm ho-ome!" It was the Townsend Jess had been referring to just seconds ago.

And he still wasn't funny or amusing. Especially when Rory ever so quickly jumped two feet away from him and plastered a smile within three seconds.

"Oh, Mr. Mariano! Nice to see you here. How are things for that lovely diner?" The intruder walked in and placed his briefcase on the floor, loosening his tie with his free hand.

"Still good."

"Oh, then, rats," Townsend exclaimed, half-joking.

Jess's hands rested on his hips as he invited Pete Townsend for a confidential talk. For business, you see, they said to Rory. He then proceeded to drag Townsend outside, out of earshot from Rory.

"What are you doing, Townsend? What do you want from Rory Gilmore?"

"Rory Stratt, my friend. You seem to be stuck in the past," he replied calmly. "She got married, remember? And what makes you think I want anything from Rory Gilmore?"

"Is it her money? Because you know you can't touch that stuff."

Townsend guffawed at Jess's weak threat. As if. He then threw an arm over Jess's shoulder and pulled to whisper in his ear. "Sell me the diner and I go away, Mr. Mariano."

Anger took over at this point, and Jess furiously shoved the other man away. "You bastard."

His opponent merely offered a cocky shrug. "Hey, I'm up for VP, and I've put up with too much crap from your uncle to care about ethics at this point. Now if you would excuse me, I think Al's Pancake World and Ms. Rory Stratt are waiting for my business."

With that, he left Jess Mariano in the middle of the lawn, fuming as the sprinklers again came on.

**Author's Note:**

Hi kids. I'm back. ;)


	8. Chapter 8

**Running After Kansas **by Oregano

It wasn't that difficult to hate Pete Townsend, really. The Diner Men despised him as much as they despised the label "The Diner Men." (It's just not that funny, you know?) They hated every fibre of Pete Townsend's, and how he used these for every date with Rory, every smug smirk, every lifted eyebrow.

Luke Danes had long ago exploded with hatred for the man, for he was the one who had known about him the longest, but not it front of Rory, of course. He had learned his lesson from Lorelai Gilmore one too many times long ago regarding meddling with a Gilmore girl's affairs. The verbal abuse from them alone would make you regret the day you were ever born. That experience was like sticking your hand in a vat of boiling oil. So whenever closing time came, all Luke could do was linger downstairs as his companions worked, exciting conversation with either Jess or Nicholai about Pete Townsend's pitiful existence.

Nicholai Stratt was more of an introvert when it came to matters such as hate. His boiling point was slow to come, which was actually much like Jess's. However, Nicholai was merely a boy of seventeen, which meant that his threshold for torture could only go so far. It came a point where there were just too many floaty hearts, too many chucks of the chin, and too damn many, "Howdy!"'s. Soon, he was mixing up orders, putting ketchup bottles next to pancake eaters, and snapping at Kirk.

Jess Mariano didn't really mind the boy's snapping at Kirk, for it was a habit more born out of working at the diner than meeting Pete Townsend, but he did worry about Nicholai in general. Jess was no stranger to having an unwanted beau spending lots of time with a mother. He knew the anger that gnawed inside, and the control you painfully have to maintain, for it was more important to see her happy than anything else, even if it meant sacrificing your own comfort.

The door once again announced a customer, and in walked Rory and Pete, hand in hand. They sat at a table near the counter, and Pete proceeded to snap his fingers impatiently as if he was in some snazzy French restaurant and Jess had a curlicue moustache curled so well that it would rival a snail shell.

Nicholai moved to walk to the table, with a dark glint playing in his eyes, but he was checked by his superior with a gentle hand on the shoulder to pull him back. Nicholai turned to face Jess, as if a little boy facing his stoic father, innocent eyes and small lips and all.

"You go take table four," Jess said to the boy quietly, and made his way towards Rory and Pete's table.

The tension in the whole diner became somewhat akin to putting your whole head in a plastic bag and inhaling deeply, and although previously unmentioned, Rory Gilmore was not ignorant of this. "Hey, Pete," she said softly, "why don't we go somewhere else to eat?" There was nervousness in her voice.

Pete merely grinned and leaned in, _touching Rory's arm_. (Nicholai nearly had an aneurysm.) "Naw, baby, you said you wanted to have coffee, and we all know that Luke's Diner is the only establishment we can bring our business of coffee-drinking."

Nobody knew it then, but this was basically the day of reckoning. What Jess Mariano would do right now would blaze a trail unto upcoming events, moving this story into its much needed overdrive. All things would change from this one action. He was an unknowing Pandora, without the boobs and the box. Jess Mariano walked towards the table bringing with him a dark cloud that usually appeared in lieu of a great storm.

As Jess arrived at the table, pen and pad in hand, all thoughts of writing anything down seemed to fly out the window. Gripping his pen tightly in his hand, he took almost all of Stars Hollow by surprise.

Jess Maraino smiled. Truly, a wide, bright, fantastic smile that would make the Virgin Mary cry. Rory had totally forgotten how handsome this man was. "What can I get you?"

Time seemed to stop at that moment, and Rory Gilmore, the sole recipient of this smile, was seventeen again. There was no Yale, no Julian, and no Nicholai.

There was only Jess.

Jess Mariano and his dishevelled hair, his leather jacket that smelled of cigarettes and literature, his eyes that would only light up whenever Rory was nearby. The smart remarks and the transparent way he would woo her despite flaccid ways to hide this fact; this was the Jess Mariano whom everyone hated but Rory Gilmore loved dearly.

He never smiled, and when he did, it was only a small grin laced with amusement and covered laughter. Rory loved it when he smiled, but was never given the chance to experience it quite like this.

It was a crooked sort of smile, with that lifeless lower lip of his stretched over his teeth, creating a misshapen triangle. The corners of his mouth almost touched the edges of his eyes. It suddenly occurred to her that this smile was actually reaching his eyes. A small matchstick of a flame suddenly burst within her, and she wanted to cry.

She never cried, you know. He left and she put everything in a box and buried it all deep inside. Today, that time capsule was unearthed, and she almost broke down then and there.

They looked at each other, one smiling, and the other with tears dancing in her eyes, stuck in a standstill. Finally, Rory looked away, breaking all contact with Jess, his eyes, his mouth. "Blueberry muffin and a coffee, please," she squeaked, forcing her eyes towards the tabletop.

Jess then pursed his lips and nodded, then proceeded to walk away, leaving Pete Townsend with his index finger still up in the air and a confused face to go with it.

* * *

Nobody really understood the meaning of this smile, and all efforts to find out were met with disappointment, for Jess Mariano would not tell. Miss Patty left no house untold, no passer-by uninformed. Luke and Nicholai were just as perplexed, but merely chalked it up to some sort of childhood thing that Rory and Jess once shared, and ventured no further. 

There was one person, however, who had a slightly better and clearer view of things. She was Rory's confidante, her best friend.

Who could forget Lorelai Gilmore's role in all of this?

Lorelai was the wishing hole Rory kept throughout her life, dropping secrets and wishes into her ear, expecting nothing but complete and utter attention. So when she heard about Jess Mariano's weird smile thing, she only smiled a secretive smile of her own and walked away, her daughter's voice floating softly in her head.

"_I wish Jess would smile more. I know you're not fond of him, but really, you should see him when he's happy. It's… miraculous."_

* * *

"Surreal" could not evenbegin to describe the day Rory Gilmore had today. After her date with Pete, she came home with her mind filled with the day's events, one event in particular, outshining the rest. Jess Mariano's megawatt smile replayed in her head, and in spite of herself, she heard herself sigh that sigh only people in love sigh. 

She reached for the doorknob to get inside, but before she could turn it, someone spoke. "Is he going to be another Dean?"

The question came so sudden and so unexpected that Rory almost screamed. She slapped her throat with her hand and forced herself to calm down. "Why, Jess! Why do you keep showing up out of nowhere!"

But Jess wasn't about to be deterred. "Is he?"

"What do you mean?"

"Is he someone you're going to force yourself to love so you can save yourself the effort of denial?"

She looked at him square in the eye. She could tell that this was going to be ugly. Thank God Nicholai was out with his friends. "And are you still the other guy, Jess? And denial of what? Of my feelings for you? Well, bust out the gurney, Buddy, because your ego's about to take a beating."

"I'm not saying that you have feelings for me. That look you gave me this afternoon was proof enough." Jess smirked sardonically and scoffed at her.

Oooh! The nerve of this man! "Do you know why I spend so much time with Pete? It's not because of you, you self-centered prick! It's because he doesn't make me feel like a… like…" She trailed off at that. Rory looked away and tried to take control of her emotions.

Jess sensed something about this. It was definitely something more than a young love thing. He craned his neck to look at her face and asked her softly, "Like what?"

He jumped at the abrupt way she faced him. Head on. "Like a widow, Jess. I just lost my best friend. What I need more than anything right now isn't a blind date, not a strange, kind of, 'Hey, yeah, I'm sorry about your husband. If you need anything…' What I need is—,"

"Normalcy." They said together, but Jess said it more as a whisper under his breath than Rory's outburst.

"… not a scarlet letter," Rory finished, taking on Jess's soft delivery.

They stood there on the porch for a while, contemplating each of their next moves, for both of them were in a complete loss for words or actions.

Suddenly, Rory spoke again. "I broke up with him today. That stupid smile of yours…" She shook her head with a small smile playing on her lips. "What was that?"

Jess looked up at her with the same softness and amusement. "I don't know, either. It just happened."

Rory nodded at that, and turned to open her front door. "Well, thank God it did."

**Author's Note:**

I am a review whore. Make me happy, please?


	9. Chapter 9

**Running After Kansas **by Oregano

If you were to ask Jess Mariano why he had come back to Stars Hollow, he would either allude to an old story with underlying themes reminiscent of the Gilded Age, or just say, "Which time?" He was a simple man, really. If he felt like it, he would do it. No real conflict or anything. But of course, that feeling never lasted long because as soon as he did what he felt like, he would later realise that it made no sense. He should have learned, but apparently, he had a learning disability—he didn't seem to want to.

That was what Jess Mariano felt like in this one particular moment. Standing next to Nicholai as they both checked the inventory in the storage room, he saw the utter pointlessness of his existence here in Stars Hollow.

But then Nicholai Stratt started to speak. "So, my mom broke up with that Pete guy," he said with a small knowing smile at his employer. He picked up a bottle of pickles and played with its lid.

All Jess did in reply was grunt and write something down on his inventory list.

However distant his companion was, Nicholai was not to be deterred. He felt like bonding, and dammit if Jess Mariano was the perfect guy to talk to. He replaced the bottle onto the shelf and continued to stack more up from an open box beside him. As smoothly as he could, he asked, "Tell me about when you were kids."

Jess halted, mid-count, and stared at a can of peaches. He let out a soft sigh but still said nothing. His fingers curled around the edge of the shelf as the question brought back all his childhood memories.

"Nothin' to tell, really. I was new, your mom was there, and it just wasn't right."

Nicholai sensed Jess's discomfort about their past and said nothing more about it. Suddenly he stopped stacking and scratched his chin. "Hey, Jess," he said, wincing at the awkwardness of casual address, "do you want to have dinner with us tonight?"

* * *

Great. Jess Mariano was carrying a cherry pie and going to have dinner with the Gilmores. He looked to the man walking gruffly beside him. And he was coming with Luke Danes.

There were just so many things wrong with this scenario that he couldn't even muster any feelings of amusement over it.

They both walked up the path that led to Lorelai's house to pick her up. It felt like some sort of circus train. After a few minutes of silent hostility, Lorelai Gilmore finally emerged from her door, stumbling, carrying her bag and pushing her hair back all at once. She grinned at the two men and gave then a small wave, where her small handbag promptly fell to the ground from the action. Luke sighed and bent down to grab it for her.

"Hey, guys. Ah, sorry about that, Luke," she said after she accidentally hit him with her elbow.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You're like a Goddamn cartoon character," Luke gruffly exclaimed at her as he handed her the purse.

Lorelai gave him a look and said, "This is the first time in twenty years that we're all going to be together again in one room. Voluntarily, and you're nowhere behind a counter serving us food. This is a very big deal, Luke."

Great. After Lorelai spoke those words, the party of three was suddenly hit with a cold remembrance of previous conflicts and unforgiving pasts. Jess had to force himself to not make a face once they got to Rory's house.

The three of them silently, and not amiably at all, made their way towards their common destination. When they got to the porch, Lorelai was fighting a smirk, Luke's face was sour, and Jess wanted to kill himself.

Nicholai opened the door even before any one of them could fight over the doorbell. Apparently, he had been waiting by the window, like an eager puppy watching the world, eyes glazed over with excitement.

Apparently, Nicholai Stratt had something up his sleeve.

And apparently, everybody had guessed this as soon as Jess Mariano entered their house, Rory Gilmore-Stratt saw him and smiled affectionately, and Nicholai Stratt snorted with mischievous glee. They all turned to him when he made that odd sound, and found him smiling and hunched over like a man with a plan. Which, of course, he obviously was.

Everybody inwardly groaned at the fact that an innocent boy led them all into this, but nobody had the heart to tell him that despite what Will Smith may suggest, matchmaking was a totally insipid concept when it came to Jess Mariano and Rory Gilmore.

* * *

Dinner commenced, and Jess found himself astonished at how well Rory's cooking had improved. The last time they were together, her idea of lunch was ripping open boxes of Pop Tarts—and that didn't even include a microwave. Now, there were actually meat and potatoes, and well, nutrition, in this, and he promptly exclaimed his surprise over it.

Rory glared pointedly at him, yet a trace of a grin played around her pursed lips.

"Well, she didn't get this from me, that's for sure," Lorelai mumbled as she put a small bite into her mouth.

Her daughter, tired of their reaction to the fact that she could actually work a stove without setting something on fire, placed her hands on her hips and announced, "For your information, I did take lessons from Sookie a little before I got married."

Lorelai's eyes widened over this fact, for a cloud of mystery just suddenly dissipated from her face. "_That's_ what you were doing!"

"Mom, you knew perfectly well that I was with Sookie. We fought over it, remember?"

It took a while to come back to Lorelai, but when it did, another light bulb went off in her head. "Oooh, _right_! You said I was over-reacting--,"

"Christ, that's like every fight we've ever had," Luke interrupted with a grim roll of his eyes.

"Hey!" Lorelai cried. "I do not over-react!"

The table was silent for a solid minute, confirming that Lorelai Gilmore, was indeed, as over-reacting as Jim Carrey in every single one of his films.

Lorelai did not know what to say upon realisation of this fact. So instead, she gave them all a glare and said, "I am great and you all… aren't!"

Seeing as that statement had no other function than to force the dinner conversation into a complete stagnancy, Nicholai waited a moment before changing the subject (for respect for his grandmother, of course). "So, Mom how did you and Mr. Mariano meet?" he asked earnestly.

Rory stopped for a moment, as if lost in the years when she was still wearing a Chilton uniform. Jess noticed this and smirked, the side of his mouth attractively lifting at the same image. Suddenly, Rory spoke, almost with a small faraway look in her eyes.

"Let's see," she began, " Well, Jess had just come from New York, and he was all new and he actually thought that he was cooler than anyone else in Stars Hollow."

"I know!" Lorelai exclaimed. "Presumptuous jerk."

"Well, it was true then, and it's true now," Jess replied in mock defensiveness. "I mean, come on—the guy I was living with looked like a lumberjack from Canada ninety-eight percent of the time!" He nodded at his uncle, whom, in true Luke Danes fashion, unwittingly emphasised his nephew's comment with his current wardrobe of a blue plaid shirt.

After Luke's crotchety remark about Jess's hairstyle back in the day, Nicholai's mother continued with her story. "Anyway, he was new, and your Gramma invited him and Luke over for dinner. We all expected that as most characters are, the tough-guy façade would dissolve once Jess Mariano saw the friendly little Oompa-Loompas that resided in Stars Hollow, Connecticut."

"And a fine lot of orange-haired midgets you made," Jess retorted, disregarding whatever politically incorrect term he may have used. He was suddenly compelled to prove to his audience that he was, and still is, a badass. Screw PC.

Lorelai pointed to Jess and addressed Nicholai in an effort to colour the boy's imagination of the events of that particular moment in time. "And that was his exact behaviour during this wonderful dinner that Sookie made for all of us. He took my beer and picked a fight with me."

"Well, you were so protective of Old Man here!" Jess said with a toss of his head towards Luke.

"He asked if I was sleeping with Luke!"

With that, Luke Danes gasped, and a piece of potato suddenly dove into his throat from the sudden action. With teary eyes and a hoarse voice, he exclaimed, "_WHAT!_"

Nicholai burst out laughing at everything that came out, each story, each blast of unknown truth, tickled by the fact that these four people have such a great history together and he never would have known this if it wasn't for Jess Mariano.

Rory Gilmore was laughing again, and it felt wonderful. It was as if a great weight was lifted from her heart, to put it in clichéd terms, yet she felt the lightness in her chest all the same. She stole a glance at Jess, who was currently bickering with Lorelai. His face was harder, older, yet there was still youthfulness in his expression. It was a stark contrast to when he was younger, where it seemed like the weight of the world was precariously balanced over his shoulders. She loved the way that he had transformed into a simple man. No more family issues, no more drama that was too much for either of them to handle. No more teenage jealousy, no more confusion as to anything she felt.

Suddenly, it was clear what she had to do, what she wanted to do.

* * *

After dinner was over, Nicholai and Luke volunteered to wash the dishes while the girls lounged around lazily in the living room (more due to the fact that if they didn't wash the dishes, nobody would—a Gilmore's a Gilmore: lazy as a pig). Jess could not be roped into doing such a thing, much to the other two dishwashers' disappointment, and preceded to take a small walk outside.

Of course, Rory, seeing this, followed. She ventured outside and found Jess standing on a small patch of lawn, curiously studying the gnomes behind Babette's house. She studied his back and noted that it had certainly filled out since their childhood. Walking closer, she touched his shoulder blade, and Jess spun around defensively.

"Crap!"

Rory held back a laugh and covered her mouth with her hand in order to block the smile that threatened to escape. Her companion breathed a sigh of relief and regained his composure, save for the light blush on his cheeks.

"I--," she started, but stopped herself. "So how've you been?" Rory laughed this time, but more at herself. "You've been here for almost a month, and I only ask you this now."

"I've been good," he replied softly.

Jess stared at Rory for a moment and saw that there were actually tears forming in her eyes. He felt a small pang in his chest at the sight of this, for this was what she must have looked like when she found out that the last time that she was ever going to see him in twenty years was on that bus.

"Rory, I--," he tried, but he could not form the words.

Slowly, she smiled and put her hands against his face. Jess closed his eyes for the immediate contact that he had not realised he was waiting for ever since he saw her again for the first time.

And there it was. He felt hesitation from her quivering lips, but they touched him all the same. His hands went up and down her back and settled on the tips of her hips, his thumbs perfectly resting on the bones that jutted out through her thin dress. Her own hands did their own exploring, and finally settled into fists gripping the material of his shirt.

* * *

That night, without another word to Luke or anyone else, Jess Mariano dug up the contract Luke had long ago given him. Without a word, he uncapped a pen, and with his handwriting a tad messier than usual, he scribbled his name over the dotted lines three times.

With a defeated breath, he leaned back onto the leather sofa and waited for the sun to rise.


	10. Chapter 10

**Running After Kansas** by Oregano

People would suspect that maybe Jess Mariano was going to beat Luke Danes to senility for signing that contract, but it was complicated, and the common layman would never understand without having to take a peek into our signatory's inner workings.

Jess Mariano did not think like most common people, and perhaps it was part of his charm. Perhaps that was what made him both special to Rory and terribly infuriating to everyone else, but the complex thought that Jess possessed was not to be taken lightly. Like that strange saying about water and shallowness and crap, he was deeper than the shoreline or however way that stupid saying went.

Luke Danes was unfortunately not used to such odd thinking, and it had been twenty years since he had witnessed something as weird as this. (The last time he was privy to this, Jess was eighteen and lugging his army bag to Venice Beach without a word.) He awoke to Jess's loud snoring from the thick leather couch, the younger man's neck precariously close to experiencing a crick. Just as Luke was about to yell at him to get off the couch and go to a more comfortable spot for his neck's sake, he spotted the pile of papers on top of the coffee table.

He slowly picked it up, and when he did, noticed that "Jess Mariano" in his nephew's unsure handwriting was imprinted onto the paper three times, beside the three x's he had drawn the first time they met (once again).

Luke did not know that he had growled in anger until Jess's loud snort broke through. His nephew coughed awake and groggily turned his face to his elderly uncle.

* * *

Rory Gilmore felt like skipping. The cool breeze that touched her face reminded her of him. Her mind quickly rewound back to the night before, standing by a cluster of gnomes, and kissing the boy she had long ago forgotten.

But Jess Mariano was a difficult character to forget, really, and that's what made him such a special one. He entranced you. He left a mark. No matter how many years may pass, how many relationships you go through, a small image of Jess Mariano would always resurface once in a while.

Perhaps it was because Rory loved literature that this became a constant reminder of this boy. A musty smell of an old publication, the feel of leather-bound imagination, and the yellowed pages that played a canvas to the printed word—these all connected her with Jess Mariano.

The slight aroma of a cigarette that had previously rested on his lips, the texture of a crease on his black leather jacket, and the oddly natural soft skin that carried his dark features; all of these she smelled, felt and saw whenever the right book came into focus.

Hemmingway, Ginsberg, Rand…

With an impish grin, she adjusted her coat and headed for the diner. She suddenly felt like her mother, always to be found at Luke's both for the coffee and the company of its proprietor twenty years ago.

* * *

Jess Mariano refused to be the second coming of himself. He'd spent twenty years trying to change himself and as soon as he felt those same feelings that fluttered in his chest twenty years ago, he knew it was time to break through the sleepy Stars Hollow spell. Going back to all the drama again was something he was not willing to revisit.

He was tired of being the enemy, and once Rory and the gang found out that he had nothing to offer but lame excuses and a sketchy past, Jess was sure that he would be back to square one: hated and feared by Stars Hollow.

"I can't do this, Luke," he said solemnly as his eyes followed Luke's back-and-forth pacing. "The pancake and eggs, the verbose antagonism, the "Order's up!" He sighed. "The Goddamn Texan, Nicholai's delusional enthusiasm—it's insane and I can't take it!"

Luke snorted and crossed his arms. "So you're just going to give up. Is that it? You're going to desert me again just because of a blip? Is it even the same blip as the blip two decades ago?"

"Stop saying, 'blip'!"

A vein in under Luke's eye jumped. He slowly turned red and rigid. "You want me to stop saying, 'blip'? Okay, I'll say, 'Rory' instead! Is that better, Jess?"

A calmer response was what Luke received, but Jess's hands were balled into fists on his knees. "I did not leave because of Rory," he said evenly, though anger was quickly rising in him as well.

"Either way, Jess, you deserted her. You left without even explaining why. You threw yourself into this downward spiral and I'm still trying to find out why. You give off this, 'I'm so tough' persona, but really, you're just this big, honking pansy of a man who can't even face up to his fears!"

Finally, Jess could not take any more. Looking directly into Luke's eyes, he countered his uncle. "Oh, you're the one to talk, Mr. Bachelor for Life! You had all the opportunities in the world, but now it's too late, isn't it? You're old, she's old, and you're just content with what you have because _you_ couldn't face up to _your_ fears." He bitterly smiled to himself at that, and added, "And you still can't!"

Luke groaned and put his hands up in bitter defeat. "You know what? I am way too old to even care about any of this--,"

"Sure, Luke, pull the, 'I'm old!' card again. It's all you have. It's all you can offer because you and your hypocritical self have nothing else to look forward to but old age."

Luke's steady glare was enough to burn flesh, but Jess held his own.

"Get out, Jess."

With that, Jess gathered his jacket and strode angrily to the thin door. Over his shoulder, he said, "I guess denial and avoidance just runs in the family."

Luke's voice could have shattered glass. "_Get the hell out!_"

* * *

The people of Stars Hollow had previously learned of Rory and Jess's, er, shall we say, "action towards the path of reconciliation" due to the fact that they chose to do this said action in the very near vicinity of Babbette's home. And everyone knew that if something happened near those gnomes, even Kirk would know the next morning, and t-shirts would be made. (It was a tradition that neither Rory nor Jess had been thinking about when they kissed that night—silly them.)

And so, there everyone was at Luke's, antsy with anticipation and giddy with romantic glee. Sure they weren't very fond of Jess Mariano in the past, but he had somehow proved himself when he came back to open the diner and, of course, hire little Nicholai Stratt.

Rory Gilmore was the first of the two to enter the diner and when that door opened, all eyes were suddenly on her. She felt an odd wave of self-consciousness and glared at the people for being so nosy. Their gazes were not to be deterred, however, and they followed her slowly as she made her way to the counter.

"You people are horrible," she announced with a wrinkle of her nose.

Suddenly, the sound of heavy footsteps made their way down from behind the curious little curtain that led to Luke's apartment.

Everyone's faces whipped from Rory's to Jess's figure as he came down.

He came down, however, carrying a huge bag and a box of his things.

Faces whipped once more towards Rory's general direction, brows furrowed at the meaning of this.

Was he moving in with Rory?

(But it was so soon!)

Maybe he was just cleaning up.

(But why was he bringing all the crap downstairs?)

Is he…?

Nobody could understand it, but terror suddenly came upon the good people of Stars Hollow when the possibility of Jess departing from Rory once again was put on the table.

Perhaps they were starting to get used to seeing Jess Mariano's sour face everyday as well. Nobody would tell that to his face, of course, because nobody wanted to get decked by Jess Mariano, but the realisation hit them like a tidal wave. Suddenly, everyone in Luke's diner was lost in their own thoughts about this fact.

Jess froze when he saw Rory standing by the counter and gently put his belongings on the countertop. Her eyes shifted from the box of books and CDs to his sheepish face.

"Again?" she said disbelievingly. She shook her head. Rory Gilmore felt drunk, and the floor swayed from under her feet. She had to sit down.

Jess walked over to her, sliding his things on the counter as he did, and reached out to touch her hand. Rory violently withdrew and offered him a cold glare instead. "I hate you," she whispered.

"I--," Jess began, but noticed that their audience had recovered from their collective reverie and had started to enjoy the show once more. He grabbed Rory's arm and pulled her into the storage room.

Once inside, the people groaned and started to gossip amongst themselves. However, they again were forced silent when Nicholai Stratt came in for his shift. Instantly noticing the eerie atmosphere, his shouldered sagged and he let out a sigh, like a father sighing over his children's childish behaviour.

"What's the scoop now?" he asked disparagingly.

Kirk Gleason slowly held up a black t-shirt. "Rory and Jess are back together!"

"Are they?" he asked. Nicholai Stratt was suddenly excited for the news. Hell, he felt like buying one of those shirts.

Kirk's eyes shifted from one side to the other as he slowly brought the shirt back down into his giant box. Just as slowly, he shook his head.

Miss Patty was quick to fill Nicholai in. "Well, honey, that's what we all thought! But then Jess came down with all his things, they had an exchange, and now they're in the storage room doing God knows what!"

"I can think of something they're doing!" Babbette squealed with a wink and mischievous jab at Morey's ribs.

Nicholai made a face at that. "Oh, gross," he said to himself. People from Stars Hollow were eccentric in their own right and that's what he loved about the little town, but once in a while, they could just get downright nasty.


	11. Chapter 11

**Running After Kansas** by Oregano 

None of the people in Stars Hollow really knew what went on in that storage room, and for Rory and Jess's sake, it was safer that they didn't, because Stars Hollow had no idea how close Babbette was to guessing.

As soon as the door was shut behind them, Rory Gilmore was already out of breath and pacing across the small enclosed space. Tears were threatening to roll out of her eyes with reckless abandon, but she checked herself. She didn't need Jess Mariano thinking that he was hurting her so much for leaving. Again.

However, despite the whole speech she had prepared in her head, all she could muster was a choked, "Why?" which blew all of her chances of convincing him that she wasn't affected so much by his planned departure.

Jess Mariano's figure leaned against the cool door, his head in his hands. "I can't explain it, Rory."

Suddenly she was angry all over again. She hated not knowing. She hated being in the dark. She hated being thought of as some stupid girl who couldn't take care of herself. Everyone always thought that she was too stupid to know any of the ugly things in life and she was so Goddamn tired of being thought of as such "for her own good."

"Well, try!" she cried, punching him on the shoulder with a kind of misplaced rage.

"It's not that easy to explain, alright? I just… have to do this!"

"Where are you going to go, Jess?"

Jess pushed himself off the door and walked over to a shelf of canned peaches. Tracing the rim of the silver can with his fingers and avoiding Rory's glare, he could only offer a shrug.

Rory threw her arms up in the air and rolled her eyes sarcastically. "So you're just going to toss all of this away. Just like you did all those years ago, even if you had all the potential in the world--,"

"_I have nothing to give, Rory!_" Jess suddenly screamed at her. His shoulders rose and fell in one swift motion as he accompanied his bellow with angry helplessness.

The statement came out so quickly and so strongly that it made Rory fall in defeat onto a sack of potatoes. Her heart was pounding for never in her life had she ever witnessed such a scathing delivery of words from Jess Mariano. Her eyes were locked on him, although her hands were trembling.

As soon as that was said, nothing seemed to be able to stop Jess. "Do you understand that? If I stay here, I'll just become the same guy that ruined your life. They'll find out that I'm just the same useless bum that broke your heart when you were seventeen. We'll hit it off and something will undoubtedly go wrong—as it always does—and it's going to be all my fault. I don't want to become the enemy again, Rory. I'm so Goddamn tired of being the one to blame for every single thing that gets screwed up in this place."

It took them a few moments to recover from that powerful display of emotion. There was a pause laden with defeat and sadness; a heavy, sticky, sickly feeling as the both gasped for breath and the right words to say. Rory was the first to speak.

"Stay," she said quietly. Slowly she stood up and walked over to where he was standing, and kissed him. She kissed him as slowly as sweet sap rolling down a tree trunk, like the tears rolling down her cheeks. As she pulled away, her lips hovered over his as she said, "You will not break my heart, Jess. I promise."

"Rory, I--," he started, but she wouldn't let him finish. Before he could continue (or refuse), she kissed him again, harder this time. She tugged at his collar, straining to make him understand her, pressing his lips against hers despite the already painful strain. Rory smiled to herself when she felt his hands on her hips once again, just like at Babbette's. Taking this as a sign, she pressed herself against him and he let out a tortured moan.

Just as slowly as she had approached him, something came alight within Jess. His heart raced just as quickly as Rory's and he could feel them both pumping in the same frantic beat against their chests.

* * *

Nicholai Stratt was torn. It was a question of action and inaction. Should he go in there and see what was going on, or should he just put an apron on and go to work?

But before he could pull on the door handle or reach for an apron, they all heard a thump come from within the storage room. There was some shuffling, like Rory and Jess were moving furniture or something, and then everything stopped. There was a long, very heavy pause, and suddenly the door swung open and nearly hit Nicholai in the face.

Jess Mariano burst out of the little room, his face flushed and his shirt undone, and grabbed his box of belongings. He threw a backwards glance at Rory who stood at the doorframe just as red and breathless as he was, shifted his eyes towards a speechless Nicholai and then did a quick scan around the diner towards an even more speechless town. There were some words he mumbled that sounded an awful lot like, "sorry," coloured with a few bad words and then, with a jingle of the door, he was gone.

This time, Nicholai Stratt was, surprisingly, not torn at all. Looking at the sagging figure of his mother as Rory leaned on the doorframe for support, her cheeks wet with saline tears, Nicholai felt something. It felt terrible, like a black seed growing in the pit of his belly, taking over his red blood with its leaden roots. He had seen that expression on his mother before, and he had despised being too powerless to remove that feeling from her. Decision was swift to overcome him, and with a powerful stride out the door, he was outside just a few steps behind Jess.

Rory couldn't even utter a scream of protest before the diner door slammed shut.

* * *

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Nicholai asked gravely as he closed in on the space behind Jess. His back was to the boy, and really, Jess Mariano had no intention of facing those wide unnerving eyes—the eyes that genetics tortured him with.

"Don't get into this, Nicholai. Get back in the diner. Luke's waiting upstairs."

But what Jess Mariano did not know was how similar Nicholai Stratt's personality was to his mother. Genetics had a larger thing to pass on than mere ocular organs. Stratt or not, Nicholai was a Gilmore by blood, and if there's anything a Gilmore was known for (besides crippling laziness and melodramatic mothers), it's their fiery tempers that sometimes bordered on madness.

The boy took a deep breath, said a small verse of apology in his head, and swung with clutched fists at Jess Mariano's arm.

"_Holy crap what the hell--!_" Jess cried as the blunt pain went surging through his right side like a forest fire on a very arid day. He tripped sideways from the force, but caught himself on the door handle of his car.

Did Nicholai Stratt, the boy who thought he was a god, just sock him in the arm?

He leaned against his Mustang and faced Nicholai with a look of utter disbelief. As soon as their eyes made contact, Jess actually blanched at the fire in Nicholai's eyes. He was used to seeing a cheerful young kid every day, with slightly messy dark blond hair and a toothy grin. There was always eagerness in Nicholai's expression, and Jess had always found it endearing, although he would never admit to thinking it. Ever.

But now the creature standing before him was nothing like Jess had ever seen before. The boy's shoulders were hunched, and he stood panting with rage and clammy fists. His thick brows were furrowed and his teeth were bared like an angry, rabid dog.

"Nicholai--," Jess breathed softly. The name came out of his lips like a soft white feather.

"_Shut up!_" he cried, his young voice breaking in his throat. Nicholai was so angry that he could not even begin to think of what to say. The image of his mother in a heap on the floor as her heart was, once again, broken, flashed into his sight. Words swirled in his mind as he glared at the man before him. Hate. Hurt. Mother. Love. Drive. Asshole. Screw-up. Why. Where. Leave. Hell. Go to hell.

And that was exactly what he settled on. The last thing Jess Mariano was going to hear from the last person he ever wished to hurt was this:

"Go to hell," Nicholai whispered.

It sent sharp, cold chills thourgh Jess's heart, pinching the organ, squeezing and suffocating like a dying warrior's last breath. It was then that he truly realised this boy's effect and impact on his life. What Nicholai said mattered to him. What Nicholai thought mattered to him. Because he was the only one in Stars Hollow who looked at him with bright eyes.

However, those bright eyes were gone now.

A hard, piercing gaze later, and a disappointed turn of the head after, Nicholai Stratt shoved his hands into his pockets and walked away with the determination of a fighter. His knuckles throbbed from a small cut that he had received from punching Jess, and the blood seeped into the lining of his pocket, but he never stopped to check.


	12. Chapter 12

**Running After Kansas** by Oregano

There was a lot of sun in California. Global warming had done its part in ensuring the world of darker tans, a heightened sensitivity to skin cancer, and horrible cases of sweat-stained t-shirts. Jess Mariano hated how the heat snuck up on him during days like these. He hated it even more on this particular day, for it was proving difficult to read his tattered copy of _The Lord of the Flies _without turning into a character of Albert Camus creations. Sitting in the corner of his father's hotdog stand, which had become somewhat of a Venice Beach landmark, Jess felt the weight of the whole six months go by. It had been a while since he had thought about Stars Hollow and of that dark bruise that settled on his arm a few days after his departure. Six months went by and he heard nothing from Luke or Rory or anyone.

Part of him was happy for it, but another part of him was disappointed in the fact that nobody even tried to get a hold of him.

Damn, when did he even turn into this obnoxious ass anyway? He didn't even know why he was expecting them to run after him. It's not like he had the charm of a seventeen-year-old Rory Gilmore, anyhow.

The yellow brick road had to end sometime, and as much as Jess Mariano hated to admit it, the soles of his feet missed the pathways of Stars Hollow that were, in his mind, just as golden.

Regret, just like the California heat, would sneak up on him often, tugging at his heart and mocking him for his choice. He, however, knew that what he did was right. Stars Hollow had no room for a Jess Mariano, and he had enough sense to leave before he had his feelings crushed by stupid people once again.

Oh, he was so disgusted at himself for letting that Goddamn town get to him. It was like this horrible rash that left a scar after you scratched it so much. Stars Hollow left its mark on him, and God help him, he just kept on running his fingernails at it, making it worse and worse after each moment of reminiscence.

He looked up and watched his father create one of his famous hotdogs with the enthusiasm of a young boy (Nicholai perhaps, but Jess quickly shoved that thought aside). The corners of his lips twisted into another one of his sardonic grins as he watched Jimmy put onions on the thing with a magnificent flourish. Jess rolled his eyes. Sometimes it was difficult to believe that half of his biology was due to this man, really.

A customer entered his line of sight, and at first he thought nothing of it. Jimmy, though, as he was always accommodating and welcoming to his clientele, hollered a warm greeting. "Hey there, what'll you have?"

"Surprise me with something special."

The voice rang familiar to Jess, and this resulted in a comical sort of double take. She was the same beautiful lady he had been acquainted with, both long ago and six months ago. Initially he had thought that it was just a trick of the light, or some odd mirage of some sort. Hell, Jess knew it was hot enough for his mind to mess with his perceptions. He thought he'd seen Barbara Streisand at one point, but it just turned out to be an old man with a broken nose. So he had to be forgiven for having to take a bit more time for recognition this time.

When he was sure that it was who he thought it was, he cleared his throat to speak. "Lorelai?"

* * *

Lorelai Gilmore felt like a moron. She felt like Juliet's fat nurse. She felt like she was that same crazy woman who had once told a seven-year-old boy that he was going to grow up looking like a gnome when that same boy in Rory's first grade class called her daughter "Ugly McFatface".

She couldn't help it. She was very protective of the people she loved. Luke Danes had rubbed off too much on her—which was, incidentally, the reason for her coming.

Jess had pushed a chair out for her to sit, and after pulling her sweaty hair into a messy ponytail, she sat. They studied each other at this; one wondering what the other was thinking, and the other wondering what the hell the other was doing in California in the first place.

After six months, Jess Mariano had definitely changed. His complexion was a little bit tanner, his cheeks more sallow, and his countenance more gruff that she remembered. His hair was an eruption of dark curls and unkempt volume, his eyes were more glazed, and Self-Destruction oozed out of him even more so than before. California and the past few months had not been kind to this man. And they both knew that it was his fault.

"So, how are things, Lorelai?" Jess asked, with maybe a touch of agitation. They both knew that the situation that this presented, of both Jess Mariano and Lorelai Gilmore being in the same place after all that had happened, it was just awkward and mad.

And only one of them had enough sense to actually deal with it straight on:

"Cut the crap, Jess. I'm still angry at you for letting me down. I actually defended you to Luke and you go and do something insane and so Goddamn _teenage melodrama_ as what you did. You leaving like that was not only the most irresponsible thing you've done to date, but it's also the most insensitive. All the bad vibes just—gah, you don't want to be fake-polite to me, Jess, because I am so close to punching you in the face."

Her dialogue didn't really catch him by surprise, but he was glad for her frankness. He hated wasting time. Jess closed his old book and pushed it aside, offering Lorelai his full attention. He rested his elbows on the table and scratched the stubble on his chin. They made his fingertips tingle. "So why are you here?"

Lorelai looked at Jess at that question. She had replayed this scene in her head over and over, and she thought she knew what she was going to say once they were in the same general vicinity, but it was proving more difficult in execution than that of theory.

Without much more ceremony, Lorelai decided to just let it out. "Luke's had a heart attack."

"Order's up for the lady who wanted a special surprise! And I didn't mean to make that sound as dirty as it did, I swear!" Jimmy cried out from behind the counter.

* * *

Despite numerous attempts to convince Lorelai Gilmore that he didn't care, Jess found himself speeding towards Connecticut like a madman. He gripped the steering wheel and cringed at the realisation that he really _did_ care. Ugh.

The worse part was, Lorelai Gilmore was _sure_ of his reaction because the woman didn't even buy a ticket back to Connecticut. She knew that Jess would race back to Stars Hollow, and she knew that she would be sitting next to Jess in his red Goddamn Mustang.

"I knew it," she said, with an impish grin playing at her features.

"Oh, stop that," was her companion's only reply. And after a few kilometres' silence, "How bad is it?" Lorelai could have sworn Jess seemed not only worried, but afraid.

"He's doing pretty well, but it's not the best I've seen of him." Lorelai let a few more seconds pass by before she added her confession. The wind blew at her hair, and she was pretty sure that she would need a hat of some sort when they got out of the car later on. "Luke doesn't know I came to see you."

Jess only rolled his eyes and let out a breath that sounded a lot like, "Puh." He looked to his side for a moment and gave Lorelai an ironic raise of his brow. "Of course he doesn't know. Where do you think Rory got that thing she does where she does something insane without telling anyone?"

"I resent that."

It was Jess's turn to grin. "That whole coy defensiveness is another thing. Don't try to seduce me with your charms, Miss Gilmore. You Gilmores may have gotten me once, but I'm not falling into that trap again."

"So you admit it—Rory left an impression on you."

Jess was silent for a moment, a little embarrassed at his sudden candidness. His brows furrowed and he focused his eyes on the road, watching the bits of gravel fly up and against the side of his car. He had no intentions of letting the conversation go this way at all. Lorelai didn't either, but now that they had suddenly ventured down that road, she felt the responsibility to keep the ball rolling.

"I'm not going to make googly remarks about it, Jess."

He pressed his lips together, moistening them with his tongue from the inside. "How can she not, Lorelai?" he asked quietly. "Ever since she came all the way to New York to see me when we were kids." A picture of Rory in her uniform and plaster cast entered his mind, as well as the surprise he felt as soon as her fingers tapped him on the shoulder that day. It had been too surreal, to say the least.

Lorelai nodded, remembering that same night. She had been so disappointed. Instead of a funny image of Rory, she saw her daughter's eyes welling up at the realisation that she had just missed her own mother's graduation for a stupid boy and a reckless impulse. "Monumental shock for both you and me, Buster."

"I didn't mean to corrupt Rory, you know. She already had a penchant for corruption."

She looked at Jess then, her eyes glittering in the sun with fondness. "She has my eyes. Of course she's had a penchant for corruption."

**Author's note:**

OMG Oregano! Yes, children. The blue moon's back, and so am I. Well, for this chapter.


End file.
